August 27, 2012

High School {Leave It Behind}...

I wrote this post. Reread it. Rewrote some more. Then got a nervous feeling after my final reading. I try not to get too emotional and too keep things upbeat on here. But I figured you guys come here every day and let me into your lives a little. I think it's about time I do that a little bit more with you...letting you into my life beyond Drake Men.

I remember my first Corporate America job. On the first day, my drive to work was filled with excitement. This feeling of being a 'grown up' was hitting me. I wouldn't have to deal with 'high school drama'. I laugh know as I am writing this because it's a false statement. The same issues that I was caught in the middle of when I was 17 were the same ones when I was 20...and even know being 25.

I am sure you are wondering why this topic. Well, I ran into an old friend from high school at a restaurant this evening (Sunday). She wasn't just an 'old friend'. She was a girl that I had been friends with from K-12. Very long time. Like any friendship we went through periods, 7-8 grade, where we weren't as close but we still remained friends. We were one of those friends that would stick up for one another no matter how close we were at the time.

During our senior year I met my-husband now-through her and her boyfriend. She and I were best friends and our boyfriends were best friends. Couldn't ask for anything better right? During our last year she made a decision that would forever change our relationship, my boyfriends, as well as hers. Of course it was up to me how many peoples lives I wanted it to affect.

I look back now and even to this day I would stand firm with the decision that I made. I think it turned out for the best for everyone. She did not see it that way. She was angry, hurt, and upset with me. Then and now I think she felt those things because she was upset with herself.

It has been seven years since I have seen or have spoken to her. When my husband saw her I immediately went into 'hiding' mode. I was afraid of her screaming at me or worse,ignoring me. It took a lot of convincing myself. I went through with it. It was one of the most awkward conversations I had ever been in. Neither her or her mom seem the least bit interested in me. She was clearly still upset with me. Never making eye-contact. It felt like the longest five minutes of my life.

I hate this about myself, but it really bothered me. I couldn't understand how after seven years you could not have moved on. She is married, lives in another state, and has a great job.  Baffling to me is to say the least. I suddenly got so upset. We were friends for so long, she makes a mistake, and seven years later I was genuinely trying to be nice to you and you couldn't have said "hello"?

I should have known with my few years of being in Corporate America. Even then with ladies well into their 50's they were still being caddy, mean, and manipulative. It is safe to say that not everyone grows up and moves on and out of high school. It is sad. There isn't one person that I didn't like in high school that I wouldn't be nice to now. It's been so long so to me, everything is over with...forgotten.

We all grow up. Learn our lessons. Move on with our lives and if we happen to cross paths we should forget about the last-x amount-of years and be cordial. Most of us have moved on from our high school days. We have all been through college, maybe have gotten married, and maybe even have children. Those are the things we should look forward to sharing with old friends. Not this *my arms folded* 'I'm still so mad at you' expression.

As the saying goes "you live and you learn". This is a prime example. Not everyone leaves the high school drama behind. I mean they really should. Don't you remember how exhausting it was keeping track of who didn't like each other. It's was and still is tiring. My guy once told me that it takes way to much time and energy to continue being mad at someone rather than forgiving them. I feel my-young age- of 25 is too old for that. I have better and more important things to worry about.

Have you ever had an encounter with an old high school/college friend and it didn't go like you thought?

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