Keeping It Real...

Well it is back to reality for me! Finished my current obsession, 50 Shades of Grey, earlier this morning. It was wonderfully delicious. I hope that doesn't sound to-gross- but it is true. The main characters relationship is what really got me hooked. Of course the much talked about sex scenes were good too. Okay...I think it's enough of that for now!

As I am sitting here typing away while listening to an eclectic mix of music- Staind, Mumford and Sons, FUN, Saturday Sun, Christina Aguilera, and Adele-I cannot help but want to talk about business. Again, some of you may be thinking. It is going to be a late night for me, which I occasionally don't mind. There are few days that I just cannot seem to get myself together enough to stay on one task long enough to complete it. When that happens my trusty music and headphones allows me to rock out in my head while I get a few things accomplished. 

I must be honest I am having a difficult time right now. Yes, it will be one of those posts. A lot of lovely bloggers, Apartment 34 & Jess Lively, have been posting a little bit more on their personal life or business. You know reality. The blogosphere has become a great place for all things that are beautiful and inspirational to  live. It has become a place where some people find a release from there everyday lives. I think that is why most of us strive to have a fun and upbeat blog with wonderful photos. 

Lately I have been drawn to more and more blogs that are keeping it real *as I say in my gangsta voice. Motivation and understanding is what I get from them. Lots of times I can relate to what they write about. Whether it's life, relationships, work, or how to balance it all. It has become a refreshing source for me. 

If I must be honest, in my life I am finding certain things to be difficult. Wanting to be successful. Having the ability to umm-pay myself. Harsh but it's a true story. Every sale we make goes back into the company so that we are able to launch new products, as I am in the process of doing right now. Trying to stick this unwavering nervous feeling where it belongs and not wanting to give into it and go back to a secure job with a salary and benefits. I know that this is a process. I know that it is not going to be easy,it hasn't. Making mistakes will happen and I will learn from them. 

When I see certain women that I follow and their blogs are successful on their own and then on top of that they have a self sustaining business that they started, a year ago, I get a little jealous and...can I say frustrated. I probably sound like a 5 year old that got one less cookie than their sibling and is contemplating if I should throw a fit. But it's how I feel. At times I can harness those feelings and use that as a driving force while other times...I simply stare at my computer screen while my bank account is up and think what my next move is. 

No matter how this will play out, and I do not give up/in easily, it is up to me . I make the decisions. I am the one that has to be satisfied with myself at the end of the day. Yes, my guy will be here with me every step of the way pushing me and driving me-crazy j/k-because that's what we do. We are each others biggest cheerleaders as well as someone you don't necessarily want to face if you haven't been working 100%. 

I feel that it is only appropriate to you guys know how much I appreciate your loyalty of coming here everyday. I am sure there are days where you would like it to be hearts and flowers instead of...well this. I started this blog when I quit my secure job with a salary and benefits to do Drake Men full time. Designing and coming up with a 'new and great idea' almost everyday.