September 6, 2012

Two Years = Babies?

My guy and I are crawling up on two years of marriage. I guess two years of marriage is a universal sign for people to start asking "when are you going to have a baby?". It does seem that is the most common time couples start trying. My sister and the majority of our friends started trying around their two year anniversary.

Last night one of best couple friends welcomed their little baby boy. He is so cute and sweet. We are so excited for them and could not be happier. When we arrived at the hospital it was quickly setting in that between my husbands group of guy friends-that he has always kept in touch with since high school-we are the last couple with out children. Most of them have a little one or their wife is pregnant. For the last-nine months-questions of when we are going to start trying have yet to stop.

My guy and I are going to have a huge family-4 kids. Well, that's what we say right now anyways. It's true we cannot wait until we have our own, but he and I can wait. We love being married. Most of our friends say the same thing "you guys have been together for seven years though". True statement. But their is still something that he and I aren't ready to give up and that's tons of time with each other. I love when he and I sit on our couch with popcorn on a Friday night and watch five hours of our DVR'd Corazon Valiente. Or when he and I can plan a road trip-next week we leave for Miami!. All of these selfish things that he and I aren't ready to give up, yet.

I have done a lot of inner self thinking. Trying to figure out when am I going to know when I am ready. Let's face it I am four years younger than my husband so it is really up to me at this point. Last night, while sitting in the hospital I finally got this feeling when I was watching the new parents attend to their little one. When I am ready,100%, I will have a calm feeling come over me. It's not about the money, space, or the time we don't want to give up. When I think about getting pregnant and have a little one of our own I get a little anxiety. If you asked me that a year ago I probably would have had a full blown panic attack.

I am slowly getting to the calm feeling that one should have. Like anything else it takes time. Time to get everything in order with business and life. In a perfect world we would have a home already, Drake Men can stand on it's own, and my guy would already have started and finished his MBA program. But  hey-that's in a perfect world which none of us live in. *If you do please let me know where I can find it!

Until that day comes we have more than enough nieces and nephews to play with and learn from. Watching my 5 month old niece every week has been blessing. Not only am I in love with her but I am learning just as if she was my own. *That probably has something to do with me becoming less anxious and nervous about having one of our own! My niece and nephew that live in Dallas-I don't get to see as much as I would like-but oh man I am crazy about them. See...we have enough love to go around but we are almost there. 

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